Monthly Archives: January 2014

What I Learned Today

Aug 6, 2012

Before Sesame Street, there was Romper Room; one room directed by a woman named Jane (I think).  Well, this one woman (before she left the show to have an abortion) would read too, and sing with the eight or so young children who were on the show each day.  When the teaching and learning was all done, Miss Jane and the children would step into bottomless cardboard boxes with cars & trucks & suck imprinted on the sides and they would “romp” around the room until one of the boxes ran out of gas or one of he children pissed themselves (not really).  Well, let me tell you, Romper Room was the place for the 1950’s & 60’s children, but!  It was no Sesame Street.  Sesame Street was a learning tour de force.

I remember watching the show one day, with one of my children, or with a beer (I really can’t recall), and the little skit I saw has stuck with me all these years.  The skit was two of those fuzzy puppet thingies.  One of the puppets (the pink gay one) asked the other puppet (the purple transgender one) what he/or she had learned today, and without hesitation the tranny said: “Cooperation.”  That has stuck with me all those years: “Cooperation.”  One might be wondering what the hell this has to do with anything?  Well, I am about to tell you, and I am serious.  People ask: “Young Bob, what did you learn today at that lovely little Hilton on the hill?”  Inasmuch as I know my little minions are chomping at the bit, just waiting to tongue and lick the nectar drippings of my wisdom; I though I would tell you what “Young Bob” (me) has learned today.

  1. Dogs are treated better than prisoners.
  2. Inmates will never go first through sally port, no matter how long they wait, inmates shall never break the glass ceiling of “goingfirstdom”.
  3. For the benefit of the institution, lying to inmates is not only permitted, but is encouraged.
  4. Staff is as likely the barrier to an inmate’s happiness & success as the inmates themselves.
  5. The institution of corrections is as every bit detestable as the institutions of criminal enterprise.

So!  To wrap it up, what did “Young Bob” learn today?

Dogs are dogs & prisoners are prisoners
Importance is importance & prisoners are prisoners
Lies are lies & prisoners are prisoners
Barriers are barriers & prisoners are prisoners
Detestable is detestable and prisoners are prisoners
And their “matter” (existence as humans) does not matter, up here on the hill.


P.S.   Correction, correction, my bad, oh boy, my bad.  The queer & the tranny were Teletubbies, not Sesame Street!  Oh boy, my bad …
P.P.S. Right about now I’d take a little tranny action … whoo, hoo.


Wire Talks Bullshit Walks

Postmarked Jul 9, 2012.  Jr. (Rowell-Savage) went to Charleston last week.  If you write the “Bruce” at the farm, say hello.  Hope you are well!

Well, my faithful herd, it appears that a number of my cattle (minions) have left the herd during my hiatus from providing the faithful with the wisdom only ole’ bob Wire can supply.  And though our numbers be lessened, our strength has been increased.  There is much I must tell you, my children, so very much.  But!  Before I get to that, I want to thank those women who, though incarcerated, and from every corner of this round world, took the time and visited my Facebook page, and filled out the “Be The Next Ex Mrs. Bob Wire”.  I am always in the market for a future “ex” Mrs. Wire. Continue reading

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