Wire Talks Bullshit Walks

Postmarked Jul 9, 2012.  Jr. (Rowell-Savage) went to Charleston last week.  If you write the “Bruce” at the farm, say hello.  Hope you are well!

Well, my faithful herd, it appears that a number of my cattle (minions) have left the herd during my hiatus from providing the faithful with the wisdom only ole’ bob Wire can supply.  And though our numbers be lessened, our strength has been increased.  There is much I must tell you, my children, so very much.  But!  Before I get to that, I want to thank those women who, though incarcerated, and from every corner of this round world, took the time and visited my Facebook page, and filled out the “Be The Next Ex Mrs. Bob Wire”.  I am always in the market for a future “ex” Mrs. Wire.Now, down to business.  I need to address a few items this day.  First, we must drop the use of the term “do your own time.”  It must go, for the role of doing one’s own time is employed only by those who have their heads so far up the ass of others’ affairs.  Then to top it all off, the cryers of “own time” have the balls to say others smell like shit.  My dear loved ones, let us with one voice stand up and demand that “do your own time” be forever removed from the lexicon of prison language.

Secondly, I need to ask (so I can feed the faithful) what the fuck is “you dispresected me” mean?  Why the hell would I respect you?  Have you proved you are worthy of respect?  Do they even know they are “run of the mill” common criminals?  Let ole’ Bob tell you what it is: “disrespected me” is nothing more than a tool for the “big, mean, hardened criminal types” so they can “hide” their piss-ass whining behind a phrase that adds up to “jack shit”.  Let us dump the phrase or even better, let us dump the big tough whine-ass babies they are.

Lastly my dear, dear Bob Wire groupies, do you want your ice in the cooler to last 3, even four days on those long camping weekends?  If you’re like me, and I’d like to think you are, pay close attention, because this kind of knowledge does not come often:  ok!  Here it is: Buy “dry ice” from an ice house (place that makes ice).  You should find one in the yellow pages.  Never ever handle dry ice without gloves or other protective gear!!!  Put the dry ice in the bottom of the cooler (you may have to break it into chunks), cover the dry ice with a couple/three pages of newspaper.  Now put a good solid layer of run of the mill ice on the top.  Fill with your favorite whatever.  This is what happens and it is a matter of scientific fact.  Dry ice turns into a gas when warmed.  The regular ice slows the dry ice from turning into gas (so quickly) and!  The dry ice keeps the regular ice from melting so rapidly.  This is for real my faithful followers.  Each ice works to keep the other cold, which dramatically slows the melting process.

That’s it, folks!  Next time I will tell you how to prepare water for long term storage with bleach!  Yes, bleach!  (And you can drink it still)

For now, Bob Wire Talks and Bull-shit Walks.



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